If you are a woman and you have somehow ended up on this article, I encourage you to read on as many of my points are relevant for you too! If you are my wife, no need to ask me if “I read my post” when I get home from work tonight 🙂 I’m always working on practicing what I preach.
Being a young parent isn’t easy. Many of us have to work, go to school, and have various commitments all of which seem to stretch our time thin. For this reason I put together a list of 5 thoughts I would like young fathers (or young men who are entering into a time of their life where they might get married) to consider. This list is not exhaustive, in fact this list is more or less a list of things I am currently working on. I believe from the bottom of my heart that if you will take this list to heart, it will help you in your fatherhood.
1) The father must make a commitment on behalf of his family to serve Jesus. Mom spends a good amount of her time simply feeding, changing, and nurturing her young children. It is easy for the family to begin to miss church as they are tired and in need of rest. It is important for a father to encourage his family to get up for church on Sunday morning, and to read the bible with them and spend time in prayer with them. Even though a young child may not know what is going on, they will witness the love in the unity of the family time together.
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15
2) Helping your wife out with the small things makes her life a lot easier. Sometimes I feel unqualified to be helping out with baby related chores. Other times I feel overwhelmed, especially when baby is upset and I can’t seem to figure out how to solve the problem or calm baby down. Raising children is by no means easy, however, it is extremely fun. The wife generally gets the bad end of the deal in this area, and I believe it is important for the Christian husband to be conscious of this fact and to try to help out wherever he can so that mom can maintain her sanity. I can already imagine my wife’s comments coming up in the comment section of this blog post 🙂 Turn that computer off and take out that trash!
“The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor” Proverbs 21:25
3) “The baby changes everything” Life will never be the same. Let’s face it, your lengthy weekend “sleep-ins” are essentially gone for good. Your night out with your single man friends will soon diminish too. You also shouldn’t be parked in front of your TV all day playing Call of Duty MW3 either. What is important for us young fathers (and those of you who will be fathers someday) to realize is that children need to be involved in whatever hobbies you may have. If you really enjoy playing baseball, take your son out to the field and play catch with him. If you really enjoy playing piano or violin, practice while your child is in the room with you. You don’t have to stop being you because you have a child, but you do need to involve that child in your life as much as you can because every child is a blessing, and a gift of the Lord!
“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3
4) When it comes to children, quantity of time is more important than quality. I wanted this point to tie into point #3 because it is very important. In such a fast paced world where we are encouraged to work long hours, get promotions, and be successful at any cost, family is often neglected. It is difficult for some to discern whether it is more important to get a raise at work so that they can get a nicer house in the “safer neighborhood” or whether it is more important to be content where you are at financially, work reasonable hours, and spend extra time with your family. This is not meant to be an indictment against those of you who work long hours, however, I do wish to encourage you to consider that you could lose your job at any minute. You could lose your house. God can do whatever He wants with the resources He has given you, and God wants you to be thankful for what you have right now. Your family is there when you lose your job. Your family is there when you lose your house. Spend time with them, and make them a priority in your life. You won’t regret it! Before you know it your kids will all be grown up as life just seems to fly by.
5) The father must submit to Jesus first if he ever wants his family to follow him. Don’t expect your wife to submit to you if you aren’t submitting to Jesus. As a young man myself I have seen time and time again young married men hold this biblical principle of submission over their wife and children’s heads. God does not intend that a father/husband abuse his family. God does not intend for a man to be the “king” of his household. God has equipped the man to be the spiritual and Godly leader of his home, who serves his family in love and with the intent of glorifying God. Men, please do not abuse your wives and children with a misapplication of the scriptures in Ephesians 5. Don’t forget it is your God given responsibility to love them (more) than you love yourself.
“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”. Ephesians 5:28
I hope these thoughts have encouraged you. What are some other things for a young father to think about? What are your experiences from raising small children? I look forward to hearing from you. Mom’s, you are welcome to comment too! I’d love to hear your suggestions.
The Religious Nerd 