Everyone is different and there is no one size fits all definitive answer to the main question my friend asks here, that is “how to muster up the willpower or discipline to not only start your weight loss but continue it?”  Some folks say low carb diets are the answer to sustained weight loss.  Yet people like my wife seem to be able to eat large quantities of carbs without gaining weight or suffering any negative metabolic effects.  She doesn’t eat processed foods and avoids what is colloquially known as the “Western Diet”, but enjoys plenty of dairy, fruit, and homemade sourdough bread.  None of that is considered Keto by any definition.

And yet her A1C, glucose, cholesterol, and triglyceride numbers are all healthy, and she does not seem to gain weight.   Meanwhile, I seem to gain weight when I eat lots of dairy, fruit and sour dough bread.  This weight comes on in the form of belly fat at first.  By lots I do not mean I am eating a case of mandarins in one sitting.  A banana here, an apple or orange there, some yogurt and milk and before you know it you’ve eaten 200g of fructose.  I have a hard time losing weight and keeping it off when I eat that much fructose, despite running caloric deficits.  What works for her is similar to what what works for me in the sense we both prefer quality whole foods, but isn’t exactly the same by any means.

I live with some medical conditions that seem to complicate my long term success.  My family has a propensity for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, cancer and obesity.   I won’t go into detail here about that, but will say I don’t want those things.  Those things are killers.  They can take years or decades off of your life.  When I went into the doctor and he told me I needed to make a change or suffer long term consequences I did not take his advice lightly.  As I’ve watched loved one’s suffer (and suffered quite a bit myself when I was 300 lbs.) it became a strong motivator for me to make some lasting changes.  I am convinced that my family are sensitive to a Western Diet, and that is has done a lot of damage.  So I choose to avoid it to the best of my ability.  I think it would be indicative of cognitive dissonance if I didn’t.

I also have neurodevelopmental “disorders.”  These disorders often come with both curses and blessings.  On the one hand, people with ADHD and ASD disproportionately suffer from co-morbid mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety disorders, and there is a connection between depression and obesity.

Also, people who have ADHD and ASD often suffer from impulsive and compulsive behaviors.  When you’re neurologically wired to behave impulsively it is very difficult to carefully think through and maintain a diet regimen and easy to succumb to temptation in the moment.  When you suffer from a condition with a compulsive element to it,  there is an irresistible urge to partake in certain behaviors.  When you possess a propensity for both these things, it can be difficult to make it through one day of healthy choices let alone a multi-year, consistent lifestyle.  People with ADHD disproportionately suffer from substance abuse.   I would argue that food is a dopamine releasing substance and should be included among the statistically preferred vices of the ADHD afflicted (alcohol, tobacco and cannabis being the others.)

On the flip side, there can be some benefits to these conditions that might give a person some advantages.   I say “can” because both ADHD and ASD are spectrum disorders.  If you’re hyperactive and cannot stop moving, obviously that is beneficial for physical fitness and activity purposes.  People with ASD and ADHD often have the ability to hyperfocus.  Hyperfocus is when you zero in on something with such intensity that it encompasses your complete and utter attention often to the detriment of other things going on around you.

People with ASD and ADHD often possess an intense focus on subjects and behaviors that interest them.  For me this translates into an intense interest in nutritional science.  It’s a bit of a compulsion for me, I cannot seem to stop thinking about it and have an insatiable desire to learn more.  I want to understand.  I maintain catalogs, spreadsheets, notebooks, and databases with data stored in what most would consider, an OCD way.  It must be neat and pristine, and the order the data is presented in is as important as the content itself.  When I learn something new I want to apply it.  It seems irrational in my mind to know some piece of nutritional science research and not apply it in daily life.   I’m like Greta Thunberg, but with my “intense interest” being nutrition as opposed to the environment (though I agree with Ms. Thunberg regarding the environment too.)

A hero of mine who also happens to have an intense interest:

In essence, I have a certain intense interest in fitness and nutrition that I am not sure a neuro-typical type will fully understand.  It goes beyond simply wanting to look a certain way, or being healthy, or avoiding Western diseases like diabetes type 2, heart disease or obesity.   Matched with a propensity for hyperactive behavior and a compulsion to achieve something at any cost, that is what some might say is an unfair advantage to accomplishing the goal (though to be fair, it comes with quite a bit of hardship and dysfunction behind the scenes for my loved ones and I.)

Recognizing most people are not the Greta Thunberg of fitness and nutrition I want to offer some practical solutions that have contributed to my long term success.  I think these things can help anyone, regardless of their situation.

1)  Do it together.  If your goal is to make it 30 days on a Keto diet, consider doing it with your spouse, family member or friend.  I’ve had success sticking with a 30 day Keto diet when I’ve done it alongside my cousin Vasiliy.  There were day’s when the scale seemed to be stagnant and I suffered from the Keto flu and wanted to give up.  But then I’d get a text from Vasiliy that he lost a couple of pounds and he’s feeling better because of eating healthier.  It made me happy knowing he was benefiting from the diet.

I was encouraged and inspired to stick with it because of his success, and sure enough, the next day the scale dropped, the Keto flu had subsided, and my mindset changed.   But let’s say I made it to day 30 on the diet and I didn’t get the results I hoped for but my spouse or friend did.  I consider that a net win.  Use your friends success as inspiration to keep moving towards accomplishing your goals.  Also, don’t be afraid to ask them what they did that contributed to their success.  Don’t assume you know what they did.  Ask them.  What did you do?  How did you do it?  When did you do it?  For how long?  Why?  One little piece of knowledge they possess might prove to be a game changer.  For this to work well you have to be honest with each other.  Don’t be ashamed to admit your weight or pants size to your partner.  When the scale goes down or your pant size shrinks, you should be proud to tell your partner about your success.  It can be inspiring.  If you’re not getting the results you expected tell your partner.  Who knows what they might say to encourage you to keep moving forward?

2) Eat foods you like and remember to enjoy life.  One of the problems people have with orthodox Keto (OG Keto) is that it is a rather rigid nutritional scheme.  You can’t have dairy, can’t have most fruits or below the ground vegetables, and must eat load’s of meats and oils and cannot exceed 20g of carbs today.  A lot of people try Keto and become discouraged and disheartened when they realize how much effort is required to adhere to the lifestyle.  A lot of people become bored of the food selection and quickly give in to their carb cravings.  Before they know it they’ve given up on Keto completely.

If you’re trying to stick with Keto for 30 days make sure to eat foods you enjoy.  My wife and I do not have medical insurance and cannot afford to go to the doctor.  We invest in our health by spending what money we have on good food.  We may not be able to afford a vacation but we do feel better on our stay-cations because we invest in good food we like to eat.  As a lifestyle we don’t practice OG Keto, but instead aim for a healthy low sugar/low carb/ minimal processed food diet and lifestyle.  Our kids don’t drink soda or juice.  We don’t like our calories coming from liquid in general.   Dessert really is a special treat in lieu of a daily thing.  We find this lifestyle more tenable than adhering to OG Keto.

OG Keto say’s no dairy.  I eat Greek yogurt (high fat/moderate protein, low carb) with a half cup of raspberries.  When I get a craving for sweets I eat a serving or two of canned whipped creme or a energy bar that is high in fat, moderate protein, low carb (less than 10g net.) OG Keto is often done with intermittent fasting.  When I practice intermittent fasting, I take my morning coffee with a dash of half and half (or even better, whipping creme, which has less carbs and more fat.) While this technically breaks the fast, those few calories can easily be burned if you are active.

The point is if you have a specific goal, let’s say to make it thirty day’s at 20g carbs or less, or to lose ten pounds, I would recommend trying to stick to rigid, OG Keto.  If you’ve made it to day 30 and achieved your goals, feel great and want to continue, why not?  Some people adopt OG Keto as a lifestyle and stick with it for years, or decades.  A lot of people don’t stick with it and need other options to stay healthy in the long term.   I like to use Keto as a tool to achieve a specific goal, but then swap to a low carb, high fat and physically active lifestyle.  I’ve been able to keep the weight off over the years because of this lifestyle, and eating foods I like, regardless if they’re OG Keto or not, is at the root of this long term success.

3) Take time for yourself.  Being a working parent isn’t easy.  This morning I woke my daughters, got them fed and dropped them off to school.  As I write this post my son is a few feet away from me.  I’ll be making him lunch soon, getting him down for a nap and before you know it, picking up my daughters from school.  Meanwhile, when I get done with writing this post and put my son down for his nap, I need to clock on and work on a case I have that goes to trial next month.  My spouse also works.  When she comes home from work she doesn’t stop working either, often taking over parent duty among other responsibilities.

Despite the craziness of life, she let’s me take time for myself.  How I choose to spend that time is my prerogative.   I can play video games, read books, watch TV, play with electronics, work or perhaps get together with a friend to catch up.  I like to use these opportunities to go for walks, lift weights, work out with a heavy bag, go for runs, go to the gym to use the cable machines or sauna, or study nutritional science.  As I’ve become stronger, stuck with a weekly walking regimen, and maintained cardio conditioning, I’ve found it easier to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and generally feel better mentally and physically.  Take time for yourself and use it to contribute to a healthy lifestyle.  Ask your significant other to hold down the fort so you can invest in your well-being.  Don’t forget to return the favor and encourage your teammate to do the same.

4) Don’t do things you dread.  Stuck with OG Keto for a full thirty days and hate it?  Do something else instead.  Hate running?  Go to the Goodwill and pick out a bicycle instead.  Have a shoulder injury that prevents you from lifting heavy weights?  Do body weight exercises or moderate weight exercises instead.  Cannot afford a gym membership?  Go for daily walks, runs or bike rides and challenge yourself to do push-ups, sit-ups, planks and squats in the comfort of your living room for no cost.  Dread exercise in general?  A lot of people initially report that it is difficult to do.  However, when these same people stuck with it for a while, and their waist band slimmed down, or they become strong, or fast runners, and feel healthy, they always report it was worth sticking with it.  Set yourself up for success and do things and eat things that you like.

5) Challenge yourself.  There is something to be said about making it a full thirty days on OG Keto.  A lot of people give up after a week or two,  before entering “phase 2” of Keto (also known as Keto Adapted – your body is burning body fat and no longer relying on carbs for its primary energy source.)  On weeks one or two they lose some weight.  Most of this is water weight as glycogen stores are depleted.  Then at the start of week three, the scale seems to stop moving.  A lot of people quit at this stage either bored with the food offerings or lack of results.  If you stick with OG Keto and make it to week three, I strongly encourage you to make it through weeks three and four to see what your numbers are at day 30.  If at day 30 your waist band and scale are the same as you started, then make some changes.  30 day’s of OG Keto is an accomplishment.

Don’t want to do OG Keto for 30 day’s?  OK.  What about taking 30 days off from soda or liquid fructose if that is your thing.  30 day’s away from energy drinks, fruit juices, white chocolate mocha’s that contain upwards of 20 teaspoons of sugar, alcoholic beverages with added sugar (beer has maltose; maltose is sugar.)  A lot of people consume multiple sugary drinks each day.  By abstaining from these –  calorically dense, high sugar, with no satiating effect – beverages, people often receive many health benefits, including weight loss.  And if they are able to continue their abstinence from these problematic products, they’ve managed to contribute to a healthier and sustainable lifestyle.  New habits can be formed.  People can change.  Initially it is very difficult to make it to day 30.  But when you do you should celebrate.  Just not by rewarding yourself by eating an entire Costco sheet cake in one sitting.  I used to reward myself for achieving a weight loss goal by purchasing a pair of pants that were a size smaller.  The feeling of fitting into those pants was amazing. Don’t forget to reward yourself for achieving your goals.

Just remember that with nutrition and exercise it tends to get easier the longer your stick with it.  I wrote about how terrible I was at running, and how I could barely make it a quarter of a mile without stopping.  I wanted to quit and hated running.  But I decided I would keep at it, and work towards a realistic goal (for me) of running 1 mile without stopping.  As I worked towards that 1 mile goal I made sure to incorporate workouts I enjoyed, and took breaks from running when my body ached.  Trying to run 1 mile?  It’s OK to go for brisk walks, workout on a recumbent bike or elliptical,  do body weight exercises or lift weights.  Just don’t give up on the goal all together because you lost your will to run.  By walking, lifting weights, moving, doing other forms of cardio, and resting you’re setting yourself up for success at achieving your primary goal.  Your primary goal may seem more doable if you’re enjoying yourself in the process of getting there and not feeling down when you backtrack.  Just don’t give up.  Keep making progress even if it’s at a walking pace.

6) Get educated.  For OG Keto, I highly recommend Maria Emmerich’s books.  Specifically, her book The Thirty Day Ketogenic Cleanse is incredibly helpful and accessible.  Ms. Emmerich offers a plethora of ancillary Ketogenic materials that assist with an OG Keto lifestyle.  I like her books for a variety of reasons.  For one, she isn’t dependent on anecdotes or fallacious appeals to authority to support her claims.  Instead, she relies on research and science and provides citations that support her regimen.  Also, she is a working mom who owns and operates a small business, and undoubtedly lives a crazy busy life.  Some of her solutions are tailored to women in particular.  This perspective is often missing in nutritional content offered by young males, so I appreciate its presence in her books.  The most respectable critical review of her Thirty Day Ketogenic Cleanse book admits that her conclusions are correct, but that not everyone has the time or money to do OG Keto consistent to the 30 day plan she offers in her book.  Again, I would not try to convince everyone to follow her scheme to every minute detail.  It’s OK to be different.  Just educate yourself and try to follow it as best as your time and wallet will permit.

7) Don’t give up if you are discouraged or stumble.  When I was 300 pounds I did OG Keto for more than 30 day’s and had good results.  But then the scale stopped moving.  A friend suggested a cheat day.  Another friend suggested swapping to a low carb paleo diet.  Another friend suggested intermittent fasting. Another suggested high intensity interval training along with weight training and cardio. For me a combination of all of those things helped get the scale moving again.  My lifestyle is a combination of all of these things.  I created this healthier lifestyle by sticking with short term goals (like 30 days OG Keto, or staying active even if not running.) Before you know it, one month becomes two, and two becomes a year.  Don’t focus on a year.  Focus on the short term goal in front of you and don’t give up if you fail or don’t get the results you expected.

Sometimes my lifestyle slips and I find myself reverting to old habits.  That’s OK.  But because I have practiced this healthy multifaceted lifestyle for so long, I am able to make corrections and get back on track to minimize the long term damage from my former, unhealthy lifestyle.  What I know for sure is I don’t sit around feeling miserable all year long, eating foods I don’t enjoy, engaging in exercise that I don’t like.  I don’t feel guilty for deviating from OG Keto or not being the strongest, fittest person at the gym.  I’m perfectly happy not being eligible to model swimsuits for Abercrombie.  But I am happy with how I look and feel.  When I slip up I know I can get back to it and keep moving forward.  I believe you can too!

I think it’s best to recognize that there are no perfect one size fits all answers here. The answers to these questions are as diverse as the people who ask them as no two people are exactly alike.  What works for one person might not work for another.  What is important is figuring out what works for you and sticking with it.  Your health, fitness and well-being depend on it.

Thank you for your question.